Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Sideways customer service

After reviewing my credit card statement, I realized I was paying every month for efax (a service I used twice in 2006, one more time in 2013, and subsequently just missed on my billing statements every month for the last...yes...9 years...). The following is the somewhat surreal interaction I had when I cancelled...


 Greg Curtis: Thank you for providing the information. Please allow me a moment while I pull up your account. 
In the meantime, please type the number corresponding to your reason for cancellation:
1) Moving to another provider
2) Bought a fax machine
3) Business or role changed
4) Short term project completed
5) Financial reasons
6) Problems with faxing or billing
7) Dissatisfied with quality of service
8) Too costly
me adding my own answer
 Michael Mainguy: 9) only needed it once 2 years ago and forgot to cancel :) 
 Greg Curtis: As we'd like to keep your business, I can offer you a discount and also waive your subscription fee for 1 month. The discounted monthly fee would be $12.95 per month. This new plan includes 150 free inbound and 150 free outbound pages monthly. 
 Greg Curtis: There is no contract and you may cancel anytime. Shall I switch you to this 1 month free $12.95 monthly plan? 
 Michael Mainguy: No thank you. 
 Michael Mainguy: I literally need to fax once every 3 or 4 years 
 Greg Curtis: I completely understand your wish to discontinue. Conversely, I can offer you a discount and also waive your subscription fee for 2 months so that you can re-evaluate your needs. After the free period, pay just $12.95 per month. This new plan includes 150 free inbound and 150 free outbound pages monthly. 
 Greg Curtis: There is no contract and you may cancel anytime. Shall I switch you to this 2 months free $12.95 monthly plan? 
 Michael Mainguy: No thank you 
 Greg Curtis: OK, I will go ahead and cancel your account.
An email confirmation will be sent at your registered email address.

Is there anything else, I may assist you with? 
 Michael Mainguy: No, thank you very much 
 Greg Curtis: Thank you for contacting online Fax support. I hope you found our session helpful. Goodbye and take care. 
 Greg Curtis has disconnected. 

My evaluation...they do not understand the needs of an occasional user who would be willing to pay a premium to send 1 or two pages of faxes every couple of years (as only ancient banking institutions and outdated consulting organizations do this any more...but I digress).

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